Sigh

My heart is heavy,
but it does not break.

It would break, for all that needs doing that I cannot do.
It may not be mine to do,
but I would still do it.

Fix, fix, fix.
I want to fix it. I want to mend it. I want to make it right.

Deep, deep, deep.
Deep are the connections we have, though we seem to miss it.

I breathe. I breathe.
I sigh.
I squeeze my eyes shut
and I pray.

It's all I can do.
Surprise, surprise.

I pray.

Inspiration

Inspiration is not the exclusive privilege of poets or artists generally. There is, has been, and will always be a certain group of people whom inspiration visits. It's made up of all those who've consciously chosen their calling and do their job with love and imagination. It may include doctors, teachers, gardeners -- and I could list a hundred more professions ... A swarm of new questions emerges from every problem they solve. Whatever inspiration is, it's born from a continuous "I don't know."

- Wislawa Szymborska, from her lecture upon winning the Nobel Prize for literature in 1996

gratitude for teachers

I am grateful for those who help me learn, understand and interpret the world, history and my faith tradition. I am currently on retreat with other women and the retreat is being led by Edwina Gately. What an amazing storyteller. Her book of poetry called Soul Sisters, along with her own telling of these women's scriptural stories, creates a powerful living image of them.

I am also currently reading, reflecting on really, You Will Be My Witnesses: Saints, Prophets and Martyrs by John Dear. He, along with Dorothy Day, has made the life of St. Therese of Lisieux more accessible and meaningful for me. So I will share a bit of John Dear's teaching about Therese:

Therese appeared to live an ordinary life, but appearances can be deceptive. Life in a monastery is difficult. She dedicated herself to the daily practice of sacrificial love toward those around her, perfecting the art of responding to coldness, rudeness, gossip, and insults with active loving kindness and inner compassion. She aimed these small acts of unconditional love at Christ in the other person and for the redemption of the human race--a spirituality she called her "little way." She wanted to remain like a child, as Jesus instructed when he said that we must become like children if we want to enter the reign of God. She understood this spirituality not as childishness, but as a profound trust in God through confidence in God's love, not just despite our littleness, poverty, weakness, and brokeness, but precisely because of them.

Sunrises and Sunsets - Creation is good

I got to share the sunset over Okanagan Lake with a pair of loons tonight. They're cool like that, as Brandi might say.

At the beginning of my drive out here to Naramata on Sunday afternoon I experienced the euphoria of the summer road trip - sunshine, windows open, 80's music... Maybe you can relate.
It was the continuation of a good day where I watered the garden, brushed the dog and was thankful for all the birthday wishes of the previous day. I absolutely don't feel old but it feels very strange to say that I am 40. hmmm

So big birthday passed and I got to be reflective while driving the beautiful stretch of Highway 1 between Chilliwack and Hope. Primary thought - no regrets. I'm quite happy with the choices I've made so far in life, including the ones that have brought me grief because apparently I learn much better if it's painful!

Am I here on vacation? Nope, but I'm doing something quite enjoyable. I'm hanging out with young union members who might one day (soon?) be young union activists. They're here learning about their union, collective agreements, health and safety, and globalization. And they're having fun.

To echo an earlier post by MahoneyMusings, I am grateful. Grateful for the freedom to make the choices that I have. Grateful for the desire and the guidance to help build a community within a community that is centred around human spiritual and material need. Grateful for the vast diversity in creation and in humanity. We are rich in creativity and compassion, just dig a little deeper.

Starry night

Roni and I enjoyed the stars tonight. Well, really Roni enjoyed the basketball that she found and destroyed on Sunday. It was still in the school yard. It's now up in the arms of the tree where I put it so she would go and find the ball that we brought to play with. Now the 2 black creatures are snoring in harmony, back to back, on my small bed. Upside, when I kick them out, the bed will be pre-warmed.